I visited World Book Fair, hosted at Pragati Maidan, New Delhi about two weeks ago with my 7 year old. They had an amazing kids’ section with a variety of books on friction, science, history craft, music etc. My daughter was jumping and dancing with excitement, running from one counter to another. In one such stall, she was stopped to introduce to a book on Indian Gods and Goddesses. The staff there read the first page of the book for her and then turned towards me. He was very proud of the content of the book and was claiming it to be the best thing a child could get. I politely refused because if she believes in the existence of God, she will definitely believe in the existence of devils too for which I don’t think she is ready right now.
This
triggered me to write about some of the conversations that we (mother and daughter)
have at home about religion, surnames etc. I am not sure how to tackle these,
she is influenced by many things/beliefs in her surroundings. I would love to
know if your child asks similar questions and how you deal with them.
Watering the sun
One
evening while returning from school cum daycare, she said, “Mumma, once I become an astronaut, I can go to the
sun to give water”. She,
for the last one and a half years, is saying that she wants to become an
astronaut and a dancer. We had this conservation about her life goals earlier
where she was confused to choose between one of two and I told her that if she
plans well, she can be both. So I was aware that she wants to be an astronaut
and the possible reasons I thought were the books she reads and movies she
watches. I was surprised to hear that she wants to go to the sun to water it. I
asked her why she wants to go and water the sun and if she knows that nobody
has yet reached the sun because it is too hot. She replied, “because, everyone, in the morning, should water
the sun, we can then have our wishes fulfilled.” I asked her what is her wish that she wants
the sun to fulfil and did she had ever seen me watering the sun. I also asked
her if she think the sun needs water or not. We really had a fun conversation.
Family
There have
been several occasions when my daughter asks me why I am not called “Snigdha
Ghosh”. Once she said the same in front of my husband to which he
immediately clarified that he is not the one prompting her to ask this. I
didn’t need his clarification for sure 😊. She somehow thinks that a family is one that shares a common
surname. My husband and our daughter use “Ghosh” as surname and I use my
parental surname. We intentionally didn’t add both our surnames for our child
and agreed that she will use her father’s surname. At the same time, I have
always insisted on using just the first name while introducing ourselves, be it
verbal or written. I have raised objections in front of her when someone says
that one should always use full name. I have explained to her why I am Snigdha
Kar and not Snigdha Ghosh, that I am daughter of my parents too, they are also
my family and marrying and coming to Ghosh family doesn’t separate me from Kar
family thus my name is Snigdha Kar. A family is not identified with surnames
they use but with the bond of love that is there for each other. A family could
be anything, not just father, mother, you and your siblings, it can be more, it
can be less…love is what makes a family.
What’s my religion?
I was quite
shocked when she directly asked me what’s her religion. I was definitely not
prepared for this and I didn’t get any context from her as well. My spontaneous
reply to her was that she is born into a Hindu family but what religion she
belongs to is something that she needs to identify as she grows. I told her
that I am also born into a Hindu family, but I don’t follow the religion as
such. I visit temples, mosques, churches and gurudwara, I sometimes do Buddhism
chanting and she is aware about this. I also told her that as I have matured, I
have decided to say mankind as my religion and nature as my god. She needs to
grow up a bit more to understand and decide for herself and I don’t know what
comes next in this series of questions. At home, we do not have any holy book
or god’s idol. The sacred part of our home is our music corner. Respecting the
instruments, books as well as food one eats is a must in our home. I love her
compassion towards the small insects in our house. 😊
How can one
be prepared for such questions!!!
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