Seeking answer… from where do we learn to hide our emotions and feelings?

On an average, people say 4 lies in a day, “I am fine” is the most common one.

In the current corona situation, how are you? is really an important question. People are feeling unwell due to limited body movement, sleepless nights are another common situation among a lot of us and we are aware of the mental challenges this situation has brought…

So when someone genuinely asks me how I am, I often tell them my tiniest physical problems be it neck ace or stomach upset because firstly, I want to avoid the most common lie and secondly I wish to be mentally strong and fit and this part certainly lies in my hand. One must make a conscious effort to be mentally relaxed.  Well, that’s me. I am writing this today because I want to understand from where we learn to hide our emotions and feeling (if anyone reading this can help me).

My daughter will turn 5 in mid of November. She is a happy child who loves to act, sing, dance, paint, turning pages of storybooks. She always finds some activity to keep herself engaged and this too to limited toys and other things available to her. She enjoys her online classes offered by the school and she does this independently too. I just need to set up her table with all things required for the class. Though I am not a very proactive mom, but somehow, my daughter was selected for a live event of her school. She has to recite a poem for the same. My daughter herself told me that she will do regular practice as I do for my music class. She did too but somehow, the teacher was not impressed with her and she told me that she is giving this poem to some other child. My daughter was super upset, but she said its okay. I could see a tiny tear inside her eyes, but it didn’t fall out. Why??? I asked her to tell mumma but she refused and started her daily rituals as nothing has happened. I reminded her that she is performing on stage since she was just one. I showed her videos of her performances so that she feels better. I called my sisters and made her talk to them. She did some more nautanki (she loves to act) and left my working room. After some time, I went to her room and found her lying on the bed quietly. I hugged her again and now she told me that she did rehearse well, and I already knew it. I did whatever I could to clam her, to tell her that she is the best child any parent can have, and I often tell her this. I understand children can’t tell that they had a bad day and they want to talk, we need to understand them, the reason behind their behaviour and act accordingly.

What is bothering me is…

1. Why she had to hide her feeling? Am I giving this message that her mother is a strong woman in my behaviour towards her and others? But she has actually seen me crying out loud.
2. What if it was not work and school from home situation? Would I be able to see her sadness after a tiring working day? In a normal situation, I might have just ignored this.
3. From where do we learn to hide our feelings and emotions be it, child or adult? I remember I had to learn to notice my feelings to overcome the stress I was going through in past.

I will be grateful if someone can help me understand this. I still can’t forget that tiny tear inside my child’s eye that didn’t fall off and the opposite smile in her face.